Most of us can do Survival Mode like mofos. Which is excellent and useful. It’s wonderful to have a workable Survival Mode. It can get you through some very dark, tough times.
But what about when times are good? Are you able to turn off Survival Mode? I’ll even do you one better – do you have a Thrive Mode?
Many of us only have the two options – Survival Mode and Not-Survival Mode. Many of us haven’t even stopped to consider what a Thrive Mode might look like.
I’ll demonstrate for you…
My Survival Mode List:
Triage – what is/are the MOST important pieces to get done this minute? Hour? Today? Tomorrow? This week?
Adequate nutrition – protein, green things, cashews/nuts, easy-prep meals, snacks that don’t need to be refrigerated, green juices, but also stress-relief/comfort foods – take-out, pizza, cheesecake etc.
Time to hide from the world – yoga, meditation, soothing music
Exercise is added during day to day things like parking farther away from stuff so I have to walk, doing squats while I brush my teeth, etc., rather than specific exercise time.
My day is scheduled into repeatable chunks – ie. 8-10am business phone calls, 10-11am get ready for work, 12-8 treating, 8-9pm get home, eat dinner, 9-10pm receipts, scheduling etc., 10pm-1am school, 2-7am sleep, repeat
Social media use is restricted to motivational things, cute puppy videos, etc
Writing as stress relief – journaling, etc.
Pampering activities that focus on establishing a sense of ‘safe’
My Not-Survival Mode List:
Lots of social media – catching up on the lives of friends and family that I missed while in survival mode, news of the world, etc.
Apology friend and family visits
Lots of rest, little exercise except restorative yoga and walks on the beach
Generally recovery mode – tv, meditation, lots of activating parasympathetics, etc.
Writing for work – blog posts, journaling, plans for creative projects
Self-care that focuses on planning and preparing for Thriving
My Thrive Mode List:
Make healthy meals – includes time to go grocery shopping, music, kitchen dancing, much more elaborate meals, etc.
Read books
Spend quality time with friends and family
Lots of time spent outdoors and exercising – actual exercise program with specific goals
Time spent on ‘whimsies’ – things that interest me, hobbies, creative projects, etc.
House cleaning and decluttering, re-decorating
Quality time spent with hubby
Schedule has lots of flexibility
More time for creative projects – writing for fun as opposed to as a stress relief
Trips for fun as opposed to business only
Lots of music and dancing
Social media use for humour and creativity
Generally, to me, Thrive Mode means that I have time and space and energy to be creative and passionate about life. Survival Mode gets me through a rough time or busy project until I can get back to my usual Thrive Mode state. Survival Mode is the bare-bones of self-care meant to get what needs to get done done so that I have the time and space and energy again to do all of the things that I love.
I have a dedication to my Thrive Mode that few understand. There is very little that I won’t sacrifice for my own mental and physical health. Yes, there are times when other stuff just has to get done (usually in the pursuit of an overall goal of Helping Humankind), but it’s always for short-term bursts. Non-survival Mode is for clean-up, repair and recovery, and then right back into my Thrive Mode activities.
About a decade ago, my goal was to change my life to something that I didn’t feel I needed to take a vacation from. Everything I do is something that I love intensely. If there’s something that I’m doing that I dislike, it’s usually a short-term thing for a larger over-arching passion project, and if it isn’t, you best believe I’ll be changing that thing shortly.
Everything I do is something that sets my soul on fire. If it doesn’t, it gets pitched pretty quickly. I mean, I’ll suffer through something for a year if I have to in the pursuit of an ultimate goal, but I won’t make my life there.
Thrive Mode is as much a dedication to yourself as it is to anything else. And I’m not talking about just self-pampering. Usually, when we talk about self-care people go to self-pampering activities. That’s not what I typically mean when I talk about self-care. You can read my post here, but generally, self-care has 3 layers; self-pampering, strength-building, creating lasting change. You use the self-pampering activities to make life gentler and kinder while you undergo the upheaval of creating lasting life changes that benefit you in the long-term.
To be able to create that kind of lasting change in your life, you need to be able to get yourself out of Survival Mode, recovered enough that you’ve got some oomph back, and into Thrive Mode. It’s not easy, and again, it takes a steadfast dedication to making your life the way you want it to be. But it’s doable.
People change their lives every day. They go out there and they live life on their terms. Why not you? What would thriving in life look like to you? Where are you in your career? Your relationships? Where are you living? What activities are part of your daily life?
Now, lets break that up into manageable chunks and make a plan for how to get there. You can read about how to do that in my next post.
Till next time, Folks!