Rehabilitation is hard. It just is. There are so many components to it – the physical, the mental, the emotional, the social, etc., etc.. There will be times you want to give up. There will be times that you DO give up. And that’s okay. That’s allowed. Forgive yourself those moments and love them for what they are – stepping stones on your path to recovery.
Recovery and rehabilitation are not clean, pretty lines from A to B to C. They are jagged spikes of forward and backwards and up and down and sideways. It’s a journey in the direction of the hope of something better than what exists now. That journey is full of set backs and disappointments. But it is also full of successes and moments to celebrate how far you’ve come.
I love the patients that come in and say that absolutely nothing has changed in the last 3 or 4 weeks – their pain is the same, their decrease in function, everything is exactly as it was the day they came to me. And then they bend over to take off their shoes when the first time I saw them they could barely manage to climb on the table and I had to remove their shoes for them. When I point this out to them there’s always that moment of recognition on their faces that, ‘huh… wait a second… maybe I’ve been too close to this and I actually AM getting better.’
I love that moment. That moment is something that fills my heart and soul with glee. Because those patients almost always come back the next week bounding in happy as all get out because they’ve realized they’re actually so much better then they were and have learned to be grateful for their recovery process.
So what are some ways you can snap yourself out of a funk when you inevitably get in one and want to quit?
1. Quit – at least for the short term. Maybe your body is telling you that you’ve been pushing it too hard and it needs rest? Or maybe you just need a moment to regroup? Either way, sometimes allowing yourself the space you need to just quit and give up for five minutes and take a look around, take the pressure off yourself and see if you’re actually doing what you want to be doing is miraculous for your determination. I like to think of these moments like taking a breather to see if you’re actually still on course – like climbing a tree to see if you’re still heading in the right direction. Sometimes we get so hyper-focused on just moving forward that we’ve forgotten to make sure we’re still heading in the right direction. Sometimes quitting for a little while allows us the perspective we need to regroup and move forward knowing we’re heading the right way for us.
2. Embrace the frustration – think of a kid learning to walk and the frustration they go through. They try so hard and fall down so so many times, and sometimes they bound right back up and try again, and sometimes they just sit there and cry for a little while. But inevitably, we all learn to walk. That frustration pushes us to try again, to master this seemingly impossible challenge. It’s in the getting back up that we build the strength required to stay on our feet for longer and longer periods of time. If we judged a kid who’s learning to walk for every time they fall the way we judge ourselves and others who are recovering from a life event, they’d wind up terrified to fall and weaker for it. They’d feel like they were wrong as a person for not being able to walk, when in all truth they’re not supposed to be able to, and they’d grow up not fully embracing the joy of a childhood filled with jumping and playing and, yes, falling repeatedly. So use the frustration. Let it fill you. And then use it to get back up and try again.
3. Plan your escape route – in case of emergency, it’s always wise to have an escape route already planned. It doesn’t mean you need to use it. It just means that you are aware beforehand of the steps you’ll need to take to ensure your survival, should the unthinkable happen. So what does quitting look like? Imagine it? What happens in your life if nothing changes from today? What resources will you require? What will your life be like? Plan it out. This is your new baseline. Every step you take forward that builds on that baseline is a success and deserves to be celebrated.
4. 1% better – you don’t need to be perfect, you just have to try to be 1% better today than you were yesterday. And some days that 1% will even be too much, but generally most people can handle 1%. What can you do right now that improves things by 1%? Can you do a load of laundry? Pick up some dishes? Maybe all you can accomplish today is washing your face, and that’s awesome. I don’t know what your injury is, so come up with some injury or life circumstances-appropriate 1% examples and fall back on that list when you feel overwhelmed. Just do one thing and then celebrate your accomplishment. Which brings me to:
5. Celebrate your accomplishments – I’m terrible for not doing this, but it’s so important to help keep a positive mindset. You have come so far and been through so much. Celebrate the fact that you’re still here and you’ve made it this far. That alone is an accomplishment and worthy of a celebration.
Throwing yourself a pity party is totally allowed. Quitting is also totally allowed. But so too is then getting back up and taking another step forward. Eventually those muscles will get stronger and you’ll be walking for longer and longer stretches until some helpful person will remind you of how far you’ve come and all that you’ve accomplished to get here.
Till next time - be kind to yourself and know that you are doing the best you can in a crappy situation. I’m proud of you for how far you’ve come!