I’m just getting started on this whole ‘putting myself out there’ journey and it’s such an interesting one. There’s a lot of information available for folks who are looking to build their careers and create successful marketing strategies to build their fan base and all of that. Which, I mean, sure, okay. That’s helpful for a lot of people. But that’s not my problem. My problem is and has always been that I don’t want the attention. So many people have gotten the panic stricken, ‘OhGodpleasedon’tdothat!’ response from me when they, very helpfully and well meaningly, say they’ll post or share something about their visit with me on Facebook or Instagram. Because oh God, the idea of life getting busier and crazier than it already is… the very last thing I have wanted has been MORE people finding out about me. So where’s all the helpful advice and tips and tricks for the folks like me? Who are actually extremely well established in their careers, know a lot of stuff, and don’t actually want MORE people to know about them? There’s already lots for the folks looking to grow their businesses and build more clients, but what about the folks who are already over-run and need advice on how to manage what they’ve already got so they can accomplish their goals? What if your dream is a small one and life just seems to have other plans for you? Then what?
The thing I’ve learned is that the people who have the most helpful advice and the most knowledge are usually so busy that they just don’t have the time to write the books and do the social media thing. But we’re also control freaks who refuse to let other people do it for us because we have very specific ideas about what we would like created. But to actually find the time to sit down and communicate that vision to someone… Well, that just doesn’t happen. And so all of this knowledge and useful information just sits there, collecting dust instead of getting out there and changing the world the way it was meant to - the way it should. And also, because the folks who are the kinds of people to sit in those back offices who don’t mind doing all of that meticulous work to collect the data required to develop those life changing theories - well, they also typically aren’t the kind of people who then know how to get up in front of a crowd of thousands of people and actually, you know, talk about it…
This is why I love SciComm and everyone involved. It’s amazing and brilliant and I love that we now have all of these avenues to get information out there that is actually written by real scientists and researchers instead of by well meaning reporters who are trying to decipher technical jargon heavy research papers and translate that into ‘human language’ for your every day person. I also love that your every day person is now talking about the latest neuroscience findings on MS research, or that there are entire Netflix series like Cosmos that bring all of these amazing ideas into great ‘why science is important in your daily life’ examples. I love that a lot of the pressure of having to be a trailblazer is now off and I can post stuff like this and maybe, hopefully, not actually be noticed and just hide out among all of you out here doing such great work and just kind of blend in with the crowd… Because I don’t mind putting information out there. But does anyone really need to know that I did it? Can I do it under a pen name? That’s more my style. Maybe we can even take pictures of someone else’s face and put those on the website and then that person can go speak at conferences for me and wear an earpiece and I’ll just tell them what to say and sure that sounds really elaborate, but I really think it’s the best option… No? Oh… Dang.
But it has occurred to me that maybe lots of other people feel exactly that way too. People who read other people’s brave opinion pieces on things like why equal representation at conferences is important, and then read the comments and see the harassment they face for being brave enough to express their opinion and we sink right back down in our chairs and focus on something else for a while. And the interesting thing about that is that I wasn’t at all bullied in high school. I have really never faced backlash. I have pretty much always been well regarded and highly thought of. I take criticism well. I don’t get my feelings hurt easily. I love debate and well reasoned arguments. I hope people poke holes in my theories and point out where I’ve missed something because that’s the process of science. If I’ve missed a crucial element in my approach well then Good God Man SAY SOMETHING!!! Don’t let me publish that sh*t as is!! Give me the opportunity to refine my theories and my findings before making myself look like a complete ass. It’s a kindness peer reviewers do for each other and I love the entire process.
Where I get hung up is when other people read those things and then THEY get upset over the way someone said something, and now because I’m not upset by it I’m the freak who doesn’t understand social protocols, and then I get pushed into having to react to show that I’m not a robot and I never do that convincingly, and then me and that person get into an argument because I didn’t react correctly, and then I feel like I have to defend my non-reaction, and they feel like they have to teach me how to do ‘Human Emotions’ correctly, and I’d really rather just avoid the entire thing. Because me putting myself out here like this means inviting other people into my life who tend to react FOR me. And that’s just a whole lot of chaos and hurt feelings that really never needed to happen. My nightmare is starting some giant global debate and the issue getting completely lost in the hurt feelings on both sides. And don't laugh - I've actually seen that happen. Been right in the middle of that exact situation a few times, in fact. THAT’S what stops me. Stops me right in my tracks. So I avoid publishing anything because ohdearGod lets just avoid that whole thing right from the get go.
But! Do you want to know the super amazing great thing I’ve been finding out by doing this? No one actually cares all that much about what I have to say. I mean, they like the science and whatever, but that entire process of starting accidental arguments from my non-reactions seems to no longer be an issue. Which is AMAZING.
I have officially learned how to successfully ‘lose myself in the crowd’. Which really, that’s all I’ve ever really wanted to know anyway…
So thank you, SciComm. Apparently, I just needed to wait for the crowd to, you know, show up… And now I can be an anonymous face within it while still maintaining my identity. It’s every nerd’s dream come true.