A one-time work colleague just accused me of ‘work = happy’ in a way that seemed derogatory. Upon further questioning, she asked if the only way I was happy was if I was working. This colleague has been struggling with her mental focus for a while. It’s an issue she’s been asking me for tips combating so she can get more work done. Now, I know I work a lot. Like, a lot. And yes, my work brings me unbelievable amounts of happiness. But it’s not the only thing that brings me happiness. Lots of things in my life make me incredibly happy. Because I’ve worked really hard to design it that way.
I legitimately almost never do the things I don’t want to do. It’s rare that I have to work on something that doesn’t make me happy. But I’ve changed my entire life around pursuing the things that I am incredibly passionate about. So there’s also very little in my life that I don’t consider a hobby that I get paid incredibly well for. Most of the things I do, I would do for free. In fact, many of the things I get paid to do now started out as me volunteering my time and energy towards a project I felt passionate about. I believe in following the things that make me happy - or, as Kevin Smith so aptly puts it, ‘chasing your whimsies’.
I am a dogged believer of chasing your whimsies. And when those whimsies are no longer fulfilling, either changing the circumstances so that you are focusing your talents only on the aspects that excite you, or changing the whimsy. Because when you are hunting down and pursuing the things you love more than anything, none of the hours and effort you put in feel like ‘work’. It’s all just exciting learning. I want to learn as much as I can about these things. The fact that I get paid for it is just bonus.
If you’re toiling away at a job you secretly resent or hate because you’d rather be doing anything else, then it’s time to ask yourself what you’d rather be doing and chase that thing. A lot of focus problems stem from the fact that you actually would rather be doing anything other than what it is you’re wasting time procrastinating not doing. So where are you spending your time? And what are you using those things to avoid doing? Why are you avoiding your work? What aspect of it makes you cringe inside? How can you design your life to work around or change that one or two things that might be stopping you?
For instance, do you long to write a book but sitting and typing it makes you die inside? There are lots of great apps that take dictation and write it up for you, and then just pay a great editor to make something from it. Or maybe you can’t handle a whole book and what you love is the social media promotion of yourself instead and you just think you have to write the book so you have something to promote yourself with online? There are tons of people who make great livings on social media. The key is to find something interesting and keep at it. Maybe you want to learn art or business, etc., but don’t want to go back to school? Luckily, there are so many great institutions now that have put their entire course content online for free. You can take any Harvard or MIT course for free, or pay $50 and get a certificate that says you’ve taken a Harvard course. So you can learn in your spare time and then transition towards your dreams as your confidence in your knowledge base increases.
There are all kinds of ways to make your dreams come true. The only one stopping you from doing so is you. So the better question is why? Why aren’t you passionately pursuing the thing you say you love? Why won’t you allow every fiber of your being to fall so passionately in love with something that you want to stay up all night researching it? When you find the things that captivate you and hold your attention, then focus isn’t a problem. The trick is to make a living at it, but there is always a way to make money. Money flows in the direction of joy. I’m living proof of that.
So, that’s all nice and rainbows and unicorns, but what are some concrete things you can do to help improve your focus?
- Eliminate distractions - this should seem obvious, but do you typically work with your phone right beside you in case someone needs you? Do you sit in the middle of the bustling living room while your kids play around you? Try setting yourself up for success and set aside an hour a day for working on a passion project where you turn off your phone and shut the door between you and the rest of your family and just dedicate time to something you love. Can’t handle an hour? Start with 15 minutes and then build up. Which brings me to:
- Set aside time every day - people often wait for ‘inspiration to strike’ and do all of this busy work instead of just sitting down and doing the actual work. Get a routine going where regardless of whether or not you feel inspired, you put in at least 15 minutes every day. Start small and build up, like exercise. Often, that 15 minutes will turn into 2 hours once you get started, but there will be days when 15 minutes drags by. And that’s okay. The point is, if you train your brain into ‘this is the time when work happens’, it’s surprising how often it’ll show up to do just that.
- Blockages smockages - if you’re sitting around searching down all of the reasons you aren’t working in an effort to enhance your ability to work, guess what? You’re not working. That’s likely your blockage. You don’t actually want to work on whatever it is you say you want to do work on. Be honest and change your goals to something you actually want to be doing and see how fast that ‘blockage’ goes away…
- Get adequate rest and nutrition - your brain can only function if you’re giving it what it needs to be able to do so.
- If you still can’t focus - it’s time to seek outside help. Maybe there’s an underlying pathology sapping your focus. There is a very strong link between gut health and brain functioning. I usually refer patients to a naturopath or for osteopathic treatment to see if there’s a physical reason for their lack of focus. If that still doesn’t clear up the issue, then I usually send them to someone who specializes in focus and attention problems to get to the underlying cause and give them personalized guidance. Of course, you should also always have a visit with your doctor for a chat about it. Sometimes on-going focus and attention problems can indicate depression or an underlying medical pathology and should be followed by a primary care physician.
The point is, often times the only thing standing in the way of work = happy is you and your limiting belief that work is supposed to make you miserable. When you love what you do, everything you do is love. What wouldn’t make you happy about that?