I am a socially awkward person. And I do and say dumb things. I would like to get that out in the open right away.
I don’t mean that I do it in like, a mean way. Just in a way that’s just… awkward. You’d have to have a conversation with me to fully understand. But trust me. I am great at stopping a conversation dead in its tracks.
And this is one of the MANY reasons why I have avoided social media. At least in the confines of my treatment room or in small group settings, my awkwardness can be contained to only a few people. But social media offers a giant forum for everyone to see me in my true, awkward glory.
Given my job, there’s a lot of expectation to be this ‘professional’ person. We all have a specific idea in mind when we think of ‘professional people’. And I am absolutely not one of those. But here’s the thing - very few of us actually are. We tend to play this ‘professional role’, but how many of us are ACTUALLY this person we try to be when the boss is in the room? It’s like cleaning up your house before your friends come over and then leaving a few ‘staged’ messy bits lying around so they won’t think you tried too hard to impress them. Or working for 3 hours on your hair so that it looks ‘perfectly undone’.
Let me tell you, when I roll into my office looking like I overslept and just threw on whatever clothes were lying on the arm of my couch, it’s because that’s actually what happened and not what I spent hours on trying to achieve as a ‘look’. Because I am incredibly busy and I promise I had been up the night before until 3am working on my latest endeavour.
Which leads me to my point - I have spent the last year embracing my awkward. And I have learned a few things from this experience, not the least of which is that if I just calm the hell down about it and let it all be fine, it can, surprise surprise, just be fine. It can actually be one of the things I get the most compliments on. Because it, surprisingly enough, puts people at ease. It gives them permission to calm down about all those little perceived flaws that they’re also desperately trying to hide hoping no one will notice and then we can all get down to the business of getting better. Because that’s what all this ‘self love’ stuff is all about anyway. Not loving that version of you that you haul out and dust off at parties and meetings and special occasions, but loving that awkward, does not have her sh#t together, can barely take care of herself let alone all the plants she keeps killing perceived mess that is actually 99% of us most of the time. It’s about being your awkward self, in the presence of other people, and knowing that that you deserves just as much love and respect as the version who’s all polished and tidy. I am just as good at my job in yesterdays clothes as I am in a perfectly ironed pantsuit. Actually, I’d probably be less effective in the pantsuit because I’d be afraid to ruin it. But that’s neither here nor there…
Point is, I am an awesome, capable human being. And I do a lot of super awesome stuff. And I am awkward as all get out. But the REALLY great thing about that is that no matter what perceived flaw you think you might have that is holding you back from really going for it and doing the things you secretly wish you could ‘if only I was more…’ means that that excuse is no longer valid. Because I guarantee you I have got WAY more of those things, and I go for it every day. And it works out for me. Not all the time. I face plant CONSTANTLY. But I don’t let that stop me. Know why? Because I am super kickass and awesome anyway. And my dreams deserve me to not give up on them just because I say stupid things sometimes in public where other people can hear me. I say stupid things all the time. But that doesn’t change the fact that I am brilliant and I can do my job like a mofo. And it shouldn’t stop me from letting everyone else in the world know about all of the ways they too can follow their dreams and live happy, fulfilling lives and/or heal their pain etc etc. Because the message is the message, regardless of the way it gets out there. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to work. And I’m not letting ‘not being perfect’ stop me anymore from letting you all know that there are ways to feel better. Whatever it is that might be wrong, I can help you find some answers and some solutions and ways to feel better. Because I love my job intensely. And my job is to help you get the most you can out of life.
So, hello world. Sorry in advance for all the awkward to come… ;)